DIGITAL LIFE

Chatting about quarantine is one of the tips for online flirting

Third month of social isolation and the “carentena” starts to hit harder, right? You are not alone in this and proof of this is the increase in flow registered in the flirting applications. A growth in the time spent on exchanging messages was also noticed by the platforms. But before embarking on the online flirtation, which may, yes, be a good idea, check out tips from frequent users and the psychoanalyst Manuela Xavier to make better use of and have a healthier relationship with the webnamoros

THE PREPARATION
Before surrendering to applications, psychoanalyst Manuela Xavier warns: everyone is freaking out, not just you. We are full of doubts and questioning about how we have led life, and it is normal to feel more melancholy. With that, we need to decipher how to deal with this situation. "Without being emotionally healthy, you can't bet on a relationship," he says. "It is a great time to create a political conscience, for example, and to understand our role in the world." Thus, we have the possibility to understand what kind of meeting we are looking for. Or, even, if it is a dating that we want.

WHAT I WRITE?
Don't be ashamed of being in the app, everyone there is in the same boat, looking for flirt. Use the resources available on the platforms. Tell us a little about yourself and avoid placing impediments in the description, such as "if you are a club, don't even try". Nobody wants to look moody (even if it is). Among the photos, in addition to those with pets, travel and full body, include some more fun with your confinement routine: uncut hair, untidy bed, home office in sweatpants. Authenticity counts points and helps to start conversation.

NOW GOING?
Be honest with yourself: are you in the mood for a relationship or just want to meet a need? “If it is just a need, there is no 'other' that will help. Look for different types of matches, with books, friends, family, change the decoration of the house ”, says Manuela. Once in the relationship, balance expectations, both with yourself and with each other. Can you find the ideal match? You can, but it's not a guarantee, so don't bet all your chips on it.

APP AT YOUR DISPOSAL
Just like the bank's application, streaming or food delivery, relationship services also exist to offer a service. “You don't spend all day asking for food, so you don't need it constantly,” says Manuela. They are a great tool for meeting people online by helping to create filters, as we do in real life. “A nightclub with a music style or a bar in a specific neighborhood will attract a type of person, and these are filters that we create”, he explains. Face it that way and don't become dependent on them.

LIFE GOES ON
We know how the dynamics of applications work, and it is a sequence of rejection. However, before you are sad to be dismissed, remember that it is not personal, believe me. “It's part of the game: no one has the ability to meet someone by avatar or with five minutes of conversation,” says Manuela. Accept that it is the logic of space and that it is ephemeral. "If it doesn't match, you have other ways to fill your life, with books, courses, movies, friends, family."

RISK YOURSELF
How about throwing yourself into a curious experience? Love Is in The Cloud works like a virtual speed dating. In video calls, participants go through meetings of five minutes in duration, for an hour and a half, and at the end they indicate to the organization those who have aroused the most interest. After the conversations, everyone participates in an online party. Created by experience designer Isabella Nardini, the proposal is to create a safer and more comfortable environment for singles. So for now, it is only possible to join the game if you are invited by a friend. "That way, people feel at ease," he says. The model is still undergoing adjustments, but for now, when two people say "yes", one receives contact from the other. It's kind of a supermatch. Who's up?

SOMEONE NEAREST
Your friends can be another tool that helps you find a match. They care and can introduce people more compatible with their tastes. Remind them of your bachelorhood. If at the moment there is no way to schedule that dinner, how about a video call meeting? Ask to include others in the group or organize parties online.

WHAT'S COURSE?
Take advantage of online classes to make connections, but without straining or creating expectations about them. The goal is to learn new things from different people, even from other countries. Face it that way. How about knowing more about wines, literature, philosophy? In video call meetings, a suitor may appear (and already with common topics!).

HOW ARE YOU DOING?
You have no subject? The pandemic and quarantine are two topics that make for a conversation starter. In Happn, for example, among the topics most commented by users in the country are the habits of isolation, which appear in 36% of the exchanges of messages, followed by tips from films and series (32%) and the crisis caused by the pandemic (23 %), according to a survey carried out by the platform. Here, it is worth saying that empathy is essential, including flirting. Knowing how the other is handling the situation is a sign of caution. Do this honestly, read or listen carefully and share your experiences.

IT WASN'T LOVE, IT WAS LIKE
The psychoanalyst Manuela Xavier points out a concern for the future of the webnamoros, when we start to get more involved with the other still in quarantine. “With everyone at home, it's easy to share everything: from your day to what you ate for lunch,” says Manuela. When isolation is relaxed, does this romance last? Be careful with expectations.

Juliene Moretti-Brazil