DIGITAL LIFE

AI enters the dating game

Online dating applications offer a land of opportunity to fraudsters and scam artists, with platforms such as Tinder, Hinge and Match becoming conventional ways to establish relationships, short-term connections, and hook-ups. These platforms, including social media sites, allow users to date multiple users at once, 24/7 (Lamphere & Lucas, 2019). On top of this, disclosure about oneself on social media is pervasive (Luo & Hancock, 2020). The ever-increasing popularity of dating applications and social media sites mean that cyber-criminals have easy access to a pool of potential victims, making the potential for deceit, fraud, and technological-facilitated violence significant concerns for public protection (Zhou, 2023). This is further exacerbated by the introduction of artificial intelligence, which despite its benefits, may offer perpetrators new and advanced ways to exploit and manipulate others (Hayward & Maas, 2021; Blauth, Gstrein & Zwitter, 2022).

Artificial intelligence (AI) refers to the development of computer systems with the capabilities to perform tasks and make decisions which typically require human intelligence. From sophisticated chatbots designed to engage in conversations and extract personal data, to deepfake technology used to create convincing false personas, evidence suggests that criminologists must prime themselves for the dark side of this technology, and how artificial intelligence will influence online safety. The aim of this article is to summarise the current and potential future risks arising in the media and empirical literature, surrounding AI-related safety concerns on dating applications.

Dating apps and artificial intelligence chatbots are changing how people flirt, choose partners, and prepare for dates. Technology is now being used to evaluate potential partners, draft messages, spot red flags, and even provide guidance on one’s love life.

One example is 27-year-old Sam. As he told *The Guardian*, after his ex-girlfriend joked that her sister thought he was unattractive, he turned to artificial intelligence. Google Gemini analyzed his photo and politely disagreed with that assessment. Since then, AI has become his "dating partner," offering encouragement and reviewing the messages he intends to send.

He is not alone in relying on AI to help find a relationship. A survey of 3,000 British singles, released this month by Match Group—the owner of platforms like Tinder and Hinge—revealed that 39% have used artificial intelligence in their love lives. This figure is even higher among younger generations: it reaches 66% for Gen Z (those born from the mid-1990s to the early 2010s) and 53% for millennials (those born from the early 1980s to the mid-1990s).

According to the Match survey, the most common uses for AI across all age groups include seeking advice about someone they are talking to, brainstorming date ideas, practicing conversations, drafting profile bios or messages, and verifying the authenticity of profiles or photos. Conversely, the survey indicates that most singles disapprove of using AI to alter photos. A single mother from New Zealand, who asked to remain anonymous, told The Guardian that she has used AI as a supportive dating mentor. "I didn’t really date before I met my ex-husband. With ChatGPT, I set the tool up to guide me toward becoming more emotionally secure—so I wouldn’t panic if there was a delay in a reply, or rush into anything," she says.

A 51-year-old man from Australia, who began dating again after his 20-year marriage ended, says that AI helped him find his current partner more quickly by evaluating his matches and testing out potential responses. "It was starting to become a lot of work, with all those conversations and profiles. So I thought, 'How can I use AI to speed this process up a bit?'" he explains.

He notes that the chatbot even encouraged him to reconsider profiles he had previously dismissed. "In the case of my current partner, the tool kept insisting: 'No, she’s your type—she just takes really bad photos.' Then I met her at a café, and she was absolutely stunning," he says.

When he told his partner that he had used AI during their exchanges, she admitted that she, too, had turned to a chatbot—Anthropic’s Claude—to analyze his messages. He recalls her joking that "the two Claudes were probably talking to each other behind the scenes."

This revelation, however, carries a risk: about a third of single people in the UK said they would end a date if they discovered that AI had been used to write the messages sent by the person they were seeing.

Furthermore, while some singles enjoy discussing a date with a chatbot (7%), far more prefer to share the experience within a group chat (29%) or with their parents (20%), according to research by Match. "Perhaps our friends are becoming more distant because of technology—a bit less present compared to the previous generation, who would gather in an apartment or at a bar and simply share every single detail," says 31-year-old Dec, from London, who uses ChatGPT as a sort of "sounding board" to talk through his interactions with single men.

Dec explains that he has fed his dating app conversations into ChatGPT, giving prompts like, "What do you think the red flags are here?" and "How would you describe this connection?"

Although using the chatbot as a dating advisor has led to several dates, Dec worries that his "brain is rotting because everything is now being delegated to AI." He adds, "We all know that, at times, it will just agree with whatever you say."

Research by Match points to a more robotic romantic future, in which autonomous AI systems would handle the task of finding partners on behalf of individuals. More than a quarter of those surveyed liked the idea of ​​two people’s virtual assistants talking to each other and providing a report before the individuals themselves began to interact—though the majority deemed the proposal "unacceptable."

Artificial intelligence is rapidly changing modern dating, with 26% of single daters and nearly half of Gen Z users reporting they now use AI tools in their romantic pursuits.

How people are using AI in dating:

• Profile building: 43% of users turn to tools like ChatGPT or Claude to draft, edit, or polish their dating app profiles.

• Icebreakers and messaging: 37% of users rely on AI to brainstorm opening lines, write responses, or help carry text conversations. In some instances, two users have unknowingly had their AI chatbots chat with each other in the background.

• Dating strategy and analysis: Some daters use spreadsheets connected to chat histories or ask AI to analyze their romantic patterns, troubleshoot dating habits, or act as an "AI concierge" to scout compatible people.

• AI companionship: A growing number of people form direct, intimate relationships or romantic attachments with AI chatbots rather than human partners.

Risks and criticisms:

• Loss of authenticity and vulnerability: Sociologist Sherry Turkle and relationship experts warn that delegating intimate messages to a script bypasses real emotional vulnerability, which is essential for building human connection.

• Over-reliance and missed deal-breakers: Letting AI handle conversations can cause users to stop paying attention to subtle cues, red flags, or personal incompatibility.

• Misrepresented personas: If an AI builds a witty or smooth persona that a user cannot maintain face-to-face, it frequently leads to disappointment and broken trust on a real date.

• Fraud and safety threats: Experts highlight rising concerns over deepfake catfishing, AI-manipulated blackmail/sextortion, and fraudulent dating apps using fake chatbot profiles to extract money.

 

mundophone